Tag: confidence

I studied my MEng in Mechanical Engineering here in Bristol, and as part of the course I spent a year studying in Saint Etienne (in France) for my 3rd year. I stayed here to do my PhD as well, and then realised that lecturing was the thing I wanted to do with my life so I’ve been here ever since!

Did you experience culture shock when you started university? 

Yes and no – the studying wasn’t too bad as I had been used to self-motivating and managing my own time from secondary school, and had been working full time during my gap year, but it was overwhelming being surrounded by so many new people all the time. I’m quite introverted, and had only attended relatively small schools, so the step change up to large halls of residence and 100-person lectures was a lot to deal with (I have no idea how UGs cope now that there are sometimes 450 students in a lecture theatre!). Eventually I made some friends to sit with in lectures and to spend time with outside lectures, and that helped me to manage the social overload I felt the rest of the time.

What was your biggest failure and what did you learn from it? 

I failed a unit in my final year, and was absolutely devastated. It didn’t stop me graduating, but my initial response was to contact the Unit Director and ask whether I could attempt the resit (obviously without it being recorded on my transcript) – I was desperate to show that I could pass the unit properly, even if it wouldn’t count towards anything. The Unit Director told me to get in touch after the resit period and they would send me a copy of the exam to try. Of course by the time the resit period arrived, my initial feelings about the failure had faded and I didn’t ask for the paper – I was busy enjoying the start of my PhD. It made me realise that initial responses to failure can be very intense, but context, patience, and time make it easier to accept and move on from.

What are you most proud of about your time at university? 

In my first year, we had a group design project to make a cup dispensing machine, and my group won the competition. I’d suggested the design for the door, and we were the only group who had that type of mechanism and design, so I like to think that my idea helped us to win, even though our outer casing was held together with tape!

What was the best bit of feedback you received? 

I don’t remember receiving any feedback on my work other than a numerical grade and maybe a couple of vague words, but I do remember how I felt after various informal conversations with different members of staff. Some were really positive and left me feeling like I could take on any challenge. Others left me feeling that I didn’t belong here and should give up. I guess the impact of those conversations has influenced how I try to interact with people now – I saw that kindness, reassurance, and support went a long way towards helping me believe I could succeed on my own, so that’s what I try to provide for others. It also made me realise that feedback isn’t just a written comment on a piece of summative work – it’s everything that happens that makes you think about your work, and I try to help students see that too.

What advice would you give to your undergraduate self?

My undergraduate self wouldn’t believe it, but I’d tell myself that I am enough, and should have more confidence to be myself. Everyone is different, and that is where our strengths come from, so stop seeing all the things you aren’t and start embracing all the things you are. Be yourself and do things your way, because it will eventually show others that they can be themselves and succeed on their own terms too.

 

 

History BA (Hons) at St Andrews, Royal Holloway and then Liverpool (three universities in 4 years – don’t ask!)

Did you experience culture shock when you started university? 

Yes – to the extent that I changed universities twice. I kept worrying that either I wasn’t performing well enough, or I did not fit in with my peers (or both). At St. Andrews there were many privately educated students who had bucketloads of confidence and could (it seemed to my 18-year-old self) converse fluently in ancient Greek and Latin. In my first classical civilisation class, the lecturer repeatedly referred to Persia and I panicked – where was this place and why had I not heard of it? My head was a-blur with so many unfamiliar words and concepts that belonged to a different world. At my school, showing an interest in ancient languages (or anything that was fascinating to me!) meant instant ostracisation. At university I became aware that other students had a head start on me – not only in their places of education but in their exposure to other worlds.

What was your biggest failure and what did you learn from it? 

The many times I kept silent in a tutorial. I was petrified of the sound of my voice filling the austere silence of the room. I often had a theory to put forward but my inner voice told me it was wrong or stupid. I then felt like an idiot when someone else gave ‘my’ answer and was praised. I gradually learned that my opinions were just as valid as my peers and that my difficulty with thinking under pressure was not insurmountable. I found that I could prepare not only by doing the pre-reading for the tutorial but by anticipating the kind of questions and arguments that might arise.

What are you most proud of about your time at university? 

As you can tell by now, I was not the most confident or self-aware student! I am proud that I developed my own techniques for studying as a dyslexic learner during a time when there was much less support for those with learning difficulties. I am proud that despite lacking confidence, I did start to believe in myself and speak up in classes. I am proud that I developed from a terrified nerd to a student who led study support groups in the third year and was confident in standing up for their beliefs. I am still a nerd, though.

What was the best bit of feedback you received? 

Typically, the only feedback I remember is bad feedback; bad on behalf of both myself and the tutor. He merely wrote ‘17’ at the end of my essay and popped it in my pigeonhole so he didn’t have to talk to me. I collected it and cried because I thought I’d failed. I went to my personal tutor to say I was leaving the university as I wasn’t fitting in with the ‘clever students’, to which he replied that a 17 was a first, so what was I thinking? I left anyway. It amuses me, looking back, that I did not think to look at the grading system or ask for more substantial feedback for that essay. There wasn’t a Study Skills service back then – alas, I would have learned so much!

What advice would you give to your undergraduate self?

Oh so many things! Here are the highlights:

Don’t eat so many marmite sandwiches – yes they are cheap, but you won’t want to look at marmite for another 20 years.

Don’t be afraid to talk to someone about your mental health – it’s so normal to struggle with university life and to feel like you don’t fit in. Ignore negative comments about being a feminist, not eating meat and caring about the environment. You will find your tribe.

Everything is fixable as long as you’re willing to learn. I wouldn’t change a thing about my childhood, but I wish I could tell my 18-year-old self that you can catch up on missed education, and there’s not some kind of secret society that imbues members with world knowledge and super-intelligence!